
The term “depression nest” has become more popular since the pandemic began. This is a messy and disorganized room or home as a result of experiencing depression. It is an outward display of a depressed mental state. This is a type of situational disorganization, where a life situation, in this case depression, has caused someone to put off the regular maintenance of cleaning and organizing their environment.
If someone is depressed, cleaning and organizing won’t solve that depression. I recommend reaching out to friends, family or mental health professionals to help. However, cleaning, decluttering and organizing can help you take control of your environment and improve your surroundings, which may lower feelings of stress, anxiety and depression.
Sometimes, my work as a professional organizer has me cleaning up a “depression nest” with a motivated client who’s working to overcome paralyzing and overwhelming feelings to improve their space and quality of life. This person may feel guilty or embarrassed about letting the room or home get to this messy state, but there is no need to feel that way. Depression can bring on fatigue, lethargy, and difficulty focusing, and it is tough to stay organized in that situation. I’m there to help my clients in a nonjudgmental way to turn their space into something they can be proud of and enjoy.
Here are some of my top tips when tackling a “depression nest”:
Do not have a judgmental family member or friend help you. This person may be well-meaning, but if they can’t accept the current state of your space and assist you without judging, then it is best to tackle this on your own, or with help of a professional organizer.
Schedule a time when you have the most energy to take on this task. For example, if you’re an early bird, plan a time to focus on this in the mornings, when you have the most energy.
Eat beforehand, and stay well-hydrated. It is difficult to focus when you’re hungry or thirsty.
Play music in the background. Do this only if music helps to motivate you, and doesn’t distract you.
Let light into the room. Open the blinds and turn on overhead lights before starting.
Take a before photo or video. This is so you can see the transformation you’ve made once done, and feel good about what you’ve accomplished.
Gather the basic sorting and cleaning tools before you start. Have the following tools nearby: empty boxes for items to sell, donate or to move to other rooms, trash bags, recycling bins, laundry baskets, and cleaning supplies like a broom, vacuum, disinfectant wipes and gloves. If your space is too cramped at the start, set up a folding table in a hallway or other room for a sorting area.
Start with the space that is most important to you. The space that usually makes the most difference in the quality of your life is where you sleep. If your bedroom is the first thing you see when you wake up, and the last thing you see at the end of your day, focus on your bedroom first, before going to other rooms.
Begin with clearing the floor space. Creating a safe space to walk around the furniture should be your first goal.
Next, focus on picking up obvious trash. Clear out any definite trash with your first sweep of the room, gathering, empty bags, wrappers, bottles, etc.
Separate items by type. In bedrooms, you may have categories such as paper, books, electronics, clothing, shoes, jewelry, make-up, keepsakes, luggage, etc. Clothing is usually the largest category, so pile all clothes in one area, and go through those after the floor-space has cleared.
Plan to do laundry. Load up all dirty laundry in baskets, hampers or bags and move them out of the room. Be prepared to wash clothing after this clean-out, so schedule a time to go to a laundromat to do it all at once, or plan to do many loads of laundry in your home.
Focus on organizing after you’ve removed excess items. Once you’ve removed trash, recycling, dirty laundry, and items that need to go to other rooms (for example, dishes to go to the kitchen), or things you want to donate, you can then focus on how to organize what remains.
Sort through the visible surfaces. Focus on clearing the tops of dressers, tables and other furniture.
Sort through closed storage areas. Next, sort through each drawer, cabinet, box, etc.
Focus on closets last. Eventually, move into organizing the closet, once the main bedroom has some space.
Tackle this in small increments of time. I suggest anywhere from 1 to 3 hours at a time, and understand that it may take more than one day.
Rest in between, and take breaks as needed. You’re doing a lot of emotional and physical work, so remember to take breaks!
Take an after photo or video. If you feel like it, share your accomplishment with others as inspiration. Be proud of this transformation of your environment!
Make a plan for maintenance. Once you’ve decluttered and cleaned up your “depression nest,” make a list of the daily and weekly tasks you need to do to keep it that way. For example, putting dirty laundry in a hamper, washing clothes, putting away clean laundry, taking out trash, bringing dirty dishes to kitchen, filing, recycling, or shredding of mail and papers, sweeping or vacuuming, etc. Schedule a time to do these tasks regularly. Even 10 minutes a day can help maintain a clean room.
Once your bedroom “depression nest” is taken care of, you can focus on other parts of your home, one space at a time. Make a goal going forward to always keep your bedroom as your sanctuary, an environment that you want to wake up to every day.
What a stellar post, Nancy. I wasn’t familiar with the term “depression nest,” but I’m certainly aware of the concept, and whether it’s post-divorce or post-pandemic, mental health is going to get a boost from clean, orderly surroundings. Just the experience of making progress on a project like this, slowly and steadily, will likely boost someone’s mood. And now you’ve offered up the detailed, step-by-step guidance needed to achieve that improvement!
Thank you, Julie! You’re right, making slow and steady progress on creating clean and orderly surroundings will certainly boost someone’s mood. I’m glad you like my step-by-step guide here. Thanks for commenting!
As Julie, the term “depression nest” is new to me. But what a great description of what can happen to an environment when a person goes through or is going through a depression. It’s so hard to activate because energy is low. But sometimes, as the depression lifts, energy returns, but it’s overwhelming to figure out where to start.
Your guide beautifully details a possible process with kindness and space to do it at a pace that feels right.
Linda, thank you for commenting. Yes, digging out of a “depression nest” at a pace that feels right for the individual person is so important. I’m glad you like this guide.
I haven’t heard this term, but I’ve experienced it. I think your first point is so important. Judgment will just shut down the whole process. I also wholeheartedly agree about the laundry. This is almost always present. If there isn’t easy access to laundry, the laundromat is a good option because you can get a lot done at once.
Yes, this should be a process that is tackled with kindness and without judgment. Being prepared for a mega-load of laundry is so important, too! Thanks for commenting, Seana!
What a great service you are giving your clients!
Several of my clients also contacted me while dealing with a depression nest. I recommended that my clients only do two to four-hour organizing sessions because they tend to get overwhelmed and start judging themselves.
Thanks for commenting, Sabrina! Yes, I think 3 hours, maybe 4 hours max is the longest someone should spend on this before taking a break. In my experience, the overwhelm and decision fatigue starts toward the end of 2 hours.
So many great tips! I especially liked not have a judgmental person help you. That may only make you more depressed and feeling unworthy.
I’m glad you like these tips! Having non-judgmental assistance is a key to accomplishing this task without feeling worse. Thank you for commenting, Jonda!
“Do not have a judgmental family member or friend help you. This person may be well-meaning, but if they can’t accept the current state of your space and assist you without judging, then it is best to tackle this on your own, or with help of a professional organizer.” One hundred percent agree with this, Nancy. So many of my clients have been discouraged and set back months if not years by the “free” help they got from friends or family. It may have been free monetarily but the psychic cost? Way too high.
Thanks, Lucy. Yes, it is unfortunate that well-meaning family and friends can discourage someone from reaching an organizing goal.
Nancy,
This is such a sensitive topic and you wrote about it beautifully. There’s no harshness or judgment and you offered many helpful suggestions.
I haven’t heard of Depression
Nest before, yet I’m sure it strikes a chord for many. Who can’t relate? It’s almost impossible to do anything when you’re very depressed. It’s good to know that there’s help out there to guide you step-by-step.
Ronni, thank you for commenting. I am hoping this guide helps those trying to improve their space while dealing with depression. I’m glad you liked this post!
Dealing with a “depression nest right now” and this seems doable. Thank you for the post, and for being so sensitive and understanding those of us who have been dealing with difficult mental health issues, and for not being judgemental. I don’t think that some people understand that this is not something we choose, so asking for help is incredibly hard.
Hi Beulah, thanks for your comment. You are very welcome, and I am glad you found this post helpful.